so the thing that made me the most mad today wasn't a social injustice, or the fact that i am poor, or the giant zit i have on my chin. it was the fact that i smelled the j lo perfume "glow" and i fucking loved it. i was hoping so strongly that i would hate it, and could continue to make fun of the ad campaign, the idea, and jenny from the block herself. but no such luck. it smells a-mazing. fucking hell.

if anyone's wondering what to get me for christmas (besides Glow) i have some ideas: socks, hair products, and mascara. i just can't get enough and i'm always running out. and maybe some decent bras...

on friday i made up the critical thinking test that i just didn't go to cos i was crazier than usual. and after the test, my professor asked me why i missed it and i told him. he then proceeded to talk to me for a half hour about why i have no right to be depressed because i am young and have my whole life ahead of me. when i told him that i thought that was one of the reasons why i was depressed he laughed. and i wasn't kidding. then he told me, in an accusing tone, that i don't "seem depressed." i explained that i try to hide it most of the time. i don't think he bought it. he then told me to get off medication as fast as i could and to try hard during the next 5 years to make a good life for myself. i almost threw up i was so mad. i just smiled and agreed and left as fast as i could but what i wanted to yell at him was "you don't even know me! fuck!"

that night i got ridiculously high at a party, got the giggles and ate 2 bags of potato chips and a shitload of chocolate. go figure.

going home soon will be such a boon.

sonGs of The DAy

"spit and fire"- rainer maria

"automatic buffalo"- sheila divine